i owe a decent post since i update this blog very seldom.
i know i'm no expert in weddings, i only prepared mine so i cannot say i know everything. but then again, i pretty much gained a lot of things as we prepare. and since all is said and done, i think it's the right time for me to share what i have learned during the wedding preps. i'm doing this for myself. for the someday when i want to look back and remember, hihi. XD
--i really hope i can post all the things i promised by the next days. i really want to share the wife phase soon. hahaha. XD
the moral of the wedding preps:
1. have a realistic budget
-i want to address the men here first. guys, when you propose, after buying your lady her ring, make sure you still have money left in kickstarting your wedding plans. because believe me when i say that once your fiancee says yes, her wedding planning starts. =)) so better make sure you have some cash to let the plannings started. plus, it seems obvious that if a guy proposes, it only means he can afford a wedding. haha.
-decide how you will be funding the wedding. only the guy pays? the girl will shoulder some? or will you both fund it equally? will the family of both parties get involve in the funds? (disclaimer: in most cases, when you let your family shoulder a portion of your wedding, it's like giving them a say with the planning details. filipino weddings are also a family affair. so make sure you're up for it, it can't be helped.) what will be your fund source? it's best to discuss this at the early parts of your preps so both of you will know your grounds.
-wedding prep should be proportional to your budget. sure you do not have all the funds you want right now for your wedding. but can you attain it before the wedding day? and most importantly, can you go through all the preps without you both being in debt or in loan? have this in mind. :)
-when i say realistic, i'm addressing a budget you will both keep and be faithful to. because you'll see a lot of beautiful pegs and weddings while you search for your suppliers and i'm sure you'll be envious. envy can lead to wanting things you see from other people but cannot afford in the long run. my rule of thumb when i get to that point in planning: is it a priority? can it wait? is it within what we can pay? can we have our wedding with or without it?
2. plan your wedding date
-whether a significant date --anniversary, birthdays, etc; a holiday; a good season or your time of day --morning, afternoon or evening; it's your call. you wedding day will set a lot of factors on your preps like: budget, availability of suppliers and their rates, attending guests, etc.
3.book the big things first
-big things are the important things. for us, the following were the big things: church, reception venue, p/v, caterer. we based our big things on where the large portions of our budget will be. and the ones enumerated where that. it's easier to project the other details once you have all your big things. atleast you also get an idea on how much your wedding might cause.
4. find time to talk about it
-on most cases, wedding plannings are left to the women, guys do most of the paying. but it should never be that way. just think about the wedding preps as your marriage initiation. you should go through it together. if you will always think that your partner could do it alone or that it is better doing it by yourself, then most likely, that's how you'll start your marriage. remember, you'll be entering a lifelong PARTNERSHIP. you should conquer things together, you should work as a team. it'll help you grow as a couple. and at the end of it all, i'm positive you'll appreciate your relationship more as you learn your strengths and weaknesses. for me, i appreciate all the obstacles we had during the preps. it made me appreciate my oso more and it helped me be positive on the things to come.
5. God is in the details
-focusing on the big things does not mean you'll make the rest so-so. details are a make or break thing at certain points. yes, only on certain points but not on everything. hahaha. XD so CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES WELL. think it over. three times that same day, then another three on different days. so you'll be really sure and considerate.
-enjoy the wedding stress. from choosing your wedding colors and theme to the flavor of your cake, it's stressful and demanding. of course, you'll only do this wedding once, what if you make a bad choice? you neeed to make it the best! so it's normal that you'll be stressed. =)) we alone, we had to change our color palette three times before we arrived with our final colors. my oso is so involved in our wedding preps --lucky me! :D --that we really need to be both happy on everything, haha. it even came to a point when we were so stressed with our wedding colors, that it was the only thing we discussed the entire night. =)) just remembering it as i write this makes me laugh. those things are nice to remember, i'm glad with all the stress our preps gave us. you'll just laugh it of when the wedding is over. it'll be a good memory after everything is done. XD
-plan ahead and be honest with yourself. be on the dot with your list. you cannot say you're busy with work or that you're only free on weekends that's why things you planned were rushed. you don't want to be doing your wedding souvenirs 'til 1am of your wedding day. you need sleep! as i said, choose your battles. if you know that it wil take your time, make sure to give it time. if you're good with crafts and you're creative, try DIY. you'll find it enjoyable and fulfilling. if you know yourself well, alam mo kung kailan mo niloloko sarili mo, if you know you can't commit, don't push it. not because you're on a wedding high, you'll let your emotions take over your rationality. if you can't, find an alternative or just let it go. time and cash wil be saved. :)
-ask help and deligate. family and friends are good labor force during this point in life. =)) their help could make the planning easier. :D
6. build a relationship with your supplier
-not because you're paying them, you're above them. remember, they'll help you make your dream wedding come true. if they do not like you, they will not deliver their best. lugi ka sa binayad mo. your loss.
-if they like you, they will remember you. i'm sure you're not their only client. if they remember you, it's less likely that they'll miss out on your requests. :)
-take care of them on your wedding day. make sure they eat and drink. perhaps you've experienced being hungry and you need to work? the grumpy feeling, who wants that?
7. you cannot please everybody
-no matter how hard you'll try, people will always have something to say. just keep in mind that the most important persons that needs to be happy on your wedding day is you and your better half. you do not want to look back on your wedding and say that most of the things you wanted were not done on your wedding because you listened way too much on others' opinions.
i've been doing these on 3 separate days now, making sure i did not forget anything. =))
but if i did, i'll update. :D i hope i made a difference on your weddings preps --even in the slightest! :P
i know i'm no expert in weddings, i only prepared mine so i cannot say i know everything. but then again, i pretty much gained a lot of things as we prepare. and since all is said and done, i think it's the right time for me to share what i have learned during the wedding preps. i'm doing this for myself. for the someday when i want to look back and remember, hihi. XD
--i really hope i can post all the things i promised by the next days. i really want to share the wife phase soon. hahaha. XD
the moral of the wedding preps:
1. have a realistic budget
-i want to address the men here first. guys, when you propose, after buying your lady her ring, make sure you still have money left in kickstarting your wedding plans. because believe me when i say that once your fiancee says yes, her wedding planning starts. =)) so better make sure you have some cash to let the plannings started. plus, it seems obvious that if a guy proposes, it only means he can afford a wedding. haha.
-decide how you will be funding the wedding. only the guy pays? the girl will shoulder some? or will you both fund it equally? will the family of both parties get involve in the funds? (disclaimer: in most cases, when you let your family shoulder a portion of your wedding, it's like giving them a say with the planning details. filipino weddings are also a family affair. so make sure you're up for it, it can't be helped.) what will be your fund source? it's best to discuss this at the early parts of your preps so both of you will know your grounds.
-wedding prep should be proportional to your budget. sure you do not have all the funds you want right now for your wedding. but can you attain it before the wedding day? and most importantly, can you go through all the preps without you both being in debt or in loan? have this in mind. :)
-when i say realistic, i'm addressing a budget you will both keep and be faithful to. because you'll see a lot of beautiful pegs and weddings while you search for your suppliers and i'm sure you'll be envious. envy can lead to wanting things you see from other people but cannot afford in the long run. my rule of thumb when i get to that point in planning: is it a priority? can it wait? is it within what we can pay? can we have our wedding with or without it?
2. plan your wedding date
-whether a significant date --anniversary, birthdays, etc; a holiday; a good season or your time of day --morning, afternoon or evening; it's your call. you wedding day will set a lot of factors on your preps like: budget, availability of suppliers and their rates, attending guests, etc.
3.book the big things first
-big things are the important things. for us, the following were the big things: church, reception venue, p/v, caterer. we based our big things on where the large portions of our budget will be. and the ones enumerated where that. it's easier to project the other details once you have all your big things. atleast you also get an idea on how much your wedding might cause.
4. find time to talk about it
-on most cases, wedding plannings are left to the women, guys do most of the paying. but it should never be that way. just think about the wedding preps as your marriage initiation. you should go through it together. if you will always think that your partner could do it alone or that it is better doing it by yourself, then most likely, that's how you'll start your marriage. remember, you'll be entering a lifelong PARTNERSHIP. you should conquer things together, you should work as a team. it'll help you grow as a couple. and at the end of it all, i'm positive you'll appreciate your relationship more as you learn your strengths and weaknesses. for me, i appreciate all the obstacles we had during the preps. it made me appreciate my oso more and it helped me be positive on the things to come.
5. God is in the details
-focusing on the big things does not mean you'll make the rest so-so. details are a make or break thing at certain points. yes, only on certain points but not on everything. hahaha. XD so CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES WELL. think it over. three times that same day, then another three on different days. so you'll be really sure and considerate.
-enjoy the wedding stress. from choosing your wedding colors and theme to the flavor of your cake, it's stressful and demanding. of course, you'll only do this wedding once, what if you make a bad choice? you neeed to make it the best! so it's normal that you'll be stressed. =)) we alone, we had to change our color palette three times before we arrived with our final colors. my oso is so involved in our wedding preps --lucky me! :D --that we really need to be both happy on everything, haha. it even came to a point when we were so stressed with our wedding colors, that it was the only thing we discussed the entire night. =)) just remembering it as i write this makes me laugh. those things are nice to remember, i'm glad with all the stress our preps gave us. you'll just laugh it of when the wedding is over. it'll be a good memory after everything is done. XD
-plan ahead and be honest with yourself. be on the dot with your list. you cannot say you're busy with work or that you're only free on weekends that's why things you planned were rushed. you don't want to be doing your wedding souvenirs 'til 1am of your wedding day. you need sleep! as i said, choose your battles. if you know that it wil take your time, make sure to give it time. if you're good with crafts and you're creative, try DIY. you'll find it enjoyable and fulfilling. if you know yourself well, alam mo kung kailan mo niloloko sarili mo, if you know you can't commit, don't push it. not because you're on a wedding high, you'll let your emotions take over your rationality. if you can't, find an alternative or just let it go. time and cash wil be saved. :)
-ask help and deligate. family and friends are good labor force during this point in life. =)) their help could make the planning easier. :D
6. build a relationship with your supplier
-not because you're paying them, you're above them. remember, they'll help you make your dream wedding come true. if they do not like you, they will not deliver their best. lugi ka sa binayad mo. your loss.
-if they like you, they will remember you. i'm sure you're not their only client. if they remember you, it's less likely that they'll miss out on your requests. :)
-take care of them on your wedding day. make sure they eat and drink. perhaps you've experienced being hungry and you need to work? the grumpy feeling, who wants that?
7. you cannot please everybody
-no matter how hard you'll try, people will always have something to say. just keep in mind that the most important persons that needs to be happy on your wedding day is you and your better half. you do not want to look back on your wedding and say that most of the things you wanted were not done on your wedding because you listened way too much on others' opinions.
i've been doing these on 3 separate days now, making sure i did not forget anything. =))
but if i did, i'll update. :D i hope i made a difference on your weddings preps --even in the slightest! :P
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